as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
