OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
