Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize