It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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