PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
