4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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