you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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