We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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