As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
