The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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