I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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