I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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