what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
