That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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