Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she smelled like a LAN party
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize