one word: firstdatebathroomanal
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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