i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize