This girl is more easily done than said...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
where does the pee come out of this thing
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
