Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize