just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
