How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
