I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize