I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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