Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
