So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
