Will you blow on my dice?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
