My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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