It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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