Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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