My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
