so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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