How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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