I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
