Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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