The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
