dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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