There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
