I wanna passion pit in your ass
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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