Already got asked if we're dating
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
