i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think a kid would responsible me up
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
