How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
