Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
