Whod you bang
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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