I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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