omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
