So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
