I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize