My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
