hotel room ftw
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
