I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
