I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
