I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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