Just cropdusted the office
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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