I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
