just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
