does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
