how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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