I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize