I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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