I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
