make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
