When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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