so that wasnt chicken after all
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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