so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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