I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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