yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I will die if light touches me.
i barfeds in our rink
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
