But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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