Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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