I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Be still, my beating vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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