dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
