He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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