honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just had sex on a roof
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize