you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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