So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
