i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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